Friday, August 7, 2015


On Friday July 10th I dropped Lucy off at his vet for his yearly dental cleaning.  Signed the usual paperwork, updated them on his surroundings (Morigana was re-homed, we moved in with Pat - more on that later - and we got a new puppy and he liked her).

Noon hit, no calls from the vet.

I had picked up Kelly so we could hang out.  We were at the grocery store to get stuff for dinner and I had just told her about how I hadn't had a call so his heart was probably doing fine with the sedation.

And the vet called.

They gave him the minimum sedation (as usual), he reacted fine.  They ran their various tests, they came back perfect (as usual).  They gave him a bit more sedation so they could do the cleaning (as usual).  Cleaning went perfect (as usual).  He entered recovery, everything continuing as usual, so they took him off the monitors and left him alone as the sedation would start wearing off.

Checked on him ten minutes later... he was purple.  He wasn't breathing.  They reopened his airways and got him on oxygen.  He had thick mucus coming out of his mouth and nose.  They gave him medication to help dry it out so he could breathe on his own again.  It worked enough for him to breathe without oxygen, but he was still struggling.

I broke down right there in the grocery store.  I immediately went to the shop to tell Pat what was going on and cry.  I got to the vet office, and I sat there with him with Kelly and Ashley with us for almost four hours.  His eyes were glassed over, he couldn't focus, he was so lethargic.  When I touched him, he would become active, but slow painful movements.

I left and picked Pat up from work and brought him back.  By then Kelly called Wes, who had just got off work, and he joined us as well.  I had to go in the back to get him out of his cage because he was getting defensive and was in pain.  The vet and techs couldn't get near him without fear of him hurting himself or them, but as soon as I touched him, he calmed down and relaxed.

Another hour discussing options.  I stopped touching him three times, and each time he would stop breathing until I put my hand back on him.

The only change was he was getting worse, and in the end, there was only one option.

I chose to end his suffering.  I held him.  Thanked him for everything he had done for us.  Told him I loved him.  And even after his heart stopped, I held him.

We took him home and buried him in the backyard and placed a large boulder over him.  Pat is going to fence off the area and I am going to plant a flower garden back there around him.

I kept having dreams of him.  I would feel him sleep on me at night and knead me like he would every night.  Then a week ago I had a dream that I found him in the craft room.  I picked him up and while I held him in my arms, he faded and disappeared.  I haven't dreamed of him since.

RIP Lucifer 7/14/05 - 7/10/15
My sweet baby boy.